When I was younger (not child age, more like teen) I was told that having sex would get you pregnant and HIV. So, I stayed away. I feared getting pregnant and I feared getting HIV. I also stayed away because of my relationship with God.
But, now that I am a happily married woman, my husband and I decided it was time to have a baby. Easy right? I mean, we've done a great job the first year of our marriage avoiding it and now it was time to try something we've never tried.... trying to conceive.
What I wasn't prepared for.... that sex doesn't get your pregnant. Sex, good health and ovulation get your pregnant. All the rumors of having sex once and you get knocked up weren't true. In fact, I had no idea that I have a small 24-72 hour range to be able to conceive.
Even then, as we've tried during that small window, nothing. Every period I have gets harder and harder. Every visit to the doctor saying I'm young and healthy and to just keep trying another 3 months, then another 3 months.....
All around me my friends are getting pregnant, having families, some even on their second or third. I feel so left behind.
My mother had me as a teenager (18 or 19, can't remember) and so I always had a young and hip mom. Not to mention at 29/30 she was a mother of 4 kids! FOUR! Me, I'm almost 28 and don't have 1!
I know God will give me a child when He feels I am ready for one, but it's hard. Kyle and I thought we wanted 4 kids of our own, now it seems it won't be possible. I don't want to be retired when my kid graduates high school....
Ahhh... feels better just to vent.
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