My mother has always taught me to be a driven individual and taught be very on a saying, "Good, Better, Best, never let it rest, until your Good is Better and your Better is the Best".
Although there are many areas in my life in which I lack drive (mainly in working out), I have always been a very driven person. If there was something I wanted, I saved up and bought it. If there was a place I wanted to go, I went there. And if there was a goal in life I dreamt, I wouldn't stop till it was mine.
Lately, my mind has been set to the idea of a promotion. The company I work for is hiring a new Regional Manager (the position of my boss) and I applied, now, I will most likely not get this, not because I don't believe in myself, not because I'm not driven.... But, because of a few things. One, I have only been with the company about 7 months. Two, there are tons of employees that want it that are better than I or have been with the company longer. Three, can they afford to remove me from my current position when we are doing so well.
I understand that if I don't get the promotion that it is not the company's way of saying I am horrible and don't deserve it, but that it is not my time. Regardless, I want the position and it's almost all I think about. I have been managing apartments for a while now and I feel this is the next step in my life I want to take... hell.. I wanted to take it like 3 years ago!
I know everything will happen as it's meant to be and I know God will give me the job if His will sees it fit, however..... I WANT IT NOW!
Friday, April 15, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
It's Harder than I Thought.
When I was younger (not child age, more like teen) I was told that having sex would get you pregnant and HIV. So, I stayed away. I feared getting pregnant and I feared getting HIV. I also stayed away because of my relationship with God.
But, now that I am a happily married woman, my husband and I decided it was time to have a baby. Easy right? I mean, we've done a great job the first year of our marriage avoiding it and now it was time to try something we've never tried.... trying to conceive.
What I wasn't prepared for.... that sex doesn't get your pregnant. Sex, good health and ovulation get your pregnant. All the rumors of having sex once and you get knocked up weren't true. In fact, I had no idea that I have a small 24-72 hour range to be able to conceive.
Even then, as we've tried during that small window, nothing. Every period I have gets harder and harder. Every visit to the doctor saying I'm young and healthy and to just keep trying another 3 months, then another 3 months.....
All around me my friends are getting pregnant, having families, some even on their second or third. I feel so left behind.
My mother had me as a teenager (18 or 19, can't remember) and so I always had a young and hip mom. Not to mention at 29/30 she was a mother of 4 kids! FOUR! Me, I'm almost 28 and don't have 1!
I know God will give me a child when He feels I am ready for one, but it's hard. Kyle and I thought we wanted 4 kids of our own, now it seems it won't be possible. I don't want to be retired when my kid graduates high school....
Ahhh... feels better just to vent.
But, now that I am a happily married woman, my husband and I decided it was time to have a baby. Easy right? I mean, we've done a great job the first year of our marriage avoiding it and now it was time to try something we've never tried.... trying to conceive.
What I wasn't prepared for.... that sex doesn't get your pregnant. Sex, good health and ovulation get your pregnant. All the rumors of having sex once and you get knocked up weren't true. In fact, I had no idea that I have a small 24-72 hour range to be able to conceive.
Even then, as we've tried during that small window, nothing. Every period I have gets harder and harder. Every visit to the doctor saying I'm young and healthy and to just keep trying another 3 months, then another 3 months.....
All around me my friends are getting pregnant, having families, some even on their second or third. I feel so left behind.
My mother had me as a teenager (18 or 19, can't remember) and so I always had a young and hip mom. Not to mention at 29/30 she was a mother of 4 kids! FOUR! Me, I'm almost 28 and don't have 1!
I know God will give me a child when He feels I am ready for one, but it's hard. Kyle and I thought we wanted 4 kids of our own, now it seems it won't be possible. I don't want to be retired when my kid graduates high school....
Ahhh... feels better just to vent.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Clear Glass Never Goes Out of Style...
My grandmother (my mother's mom) and I are very much alike. I feel I am more like her than anyone else int he world, including my mother. My grandmother and I have always had a special bond. As a child I would stare in wonder that the decorations around her house. They would change each season and when there was no holiday around the corner, her house was still filled with figurines, cut glass and other decor.
Now, many grandmothers out there have tons of decor, or one would call, crap. My grandmother does not have tons of crap, but beautifully placed nice things throughout. I remember at a very young age I would love that all my grandmothers plates, cups, bowls, etc all matched beautifully. My mother on the other hand would have 20 different plates and 40 different cups at all times. She collected the free plastic cups from nearly every Applebees trip. Now, my mother isn't poor, just the opposite, she is very well off, but, just very much the opposite of her mother.
I made a vow that when I became a grown up I would have matching plates, bowls and cups, which I do, and silverware, which I do. I also collected tea pots and tea cups just as my grandmother does. In fact, my grandmother has the most beautiful pewter tea set that I would die for. My mother, being her only girl, is suppose to inherit all these treasures when my grandmother passes away, and because my mother is not like my grandmother, and I am, I already know, that when my grandmother passes, these things will go to me, and not my mother.
My grandmother would always give me advice about life, decor and other things. One piece of advice I will never forget is when she told me, "Clear glass never goes out of style". What she went on to tell me is that I should always keep beautiful glass containers because they will never go out of style. And when I ever entertain (another thing I love to do that my mother hates) I can always fill random clear glass containers with snacks, decor, etc and my place setting will always look gorgeous.
So, over time I have collected many clear glass containers and have thrown away nothing. In fact, I love clear glass so much, I am always adding on.
My newest obsession is pedestal pastry trays. I want some so bad. Not sure why, but all of a sudden it' my newest addiction. And, since I must share my addictions, of course I will share the ones I am leaning towards. I think I want a set of 3 in 3 different sizes. I may mix and match from websites, but who knows.
Can't you just see these in the middle of the dining room table filled with cookies, brownies and cream puffs?!?!?! I could die!!! :)
Now, many grandmothers out there have tons of decor, or one would call, crap. My grandmother does not have tons of crap, but beautifully placed nice things throughout. I remember at a very young age I would love that all my grandmothers plates, cups, bowls, etc all matched beautifully. My mother on the other hand would have 20 different plates and 40 different cups at all times. She collected the free plastic cups from nearly every Applebees trip. Now, my mother isn't poor, just the opposite, she is very well off, but, just very much the opposite of her mother.
I made a vow that when I became a grown up I would have matching plates, bowls and cups, which I do, and silverware, which I do. I also collected tea pots and tea cups just as my grandmother does. In fact, my grandmother has the most beautiful pewter tea set that I would die for. My mother, being her only girl, is suppose to inherit all these treasures when my grandmother passes away, and because my mother is not like my grandmother, and I am, I already know, that when my grandmother passes, these things will go to me, and not my mother.
My grandmother would always give me advice about life, decor and other things. One piece of advice I will never forget is when she told me, "Clear glass never goes out of style". What she went on to tell me is that I should always keep beautiful glass containers because they will never go out of style. And when I ever entertain (another thing I love to do that my mother hates) I can always fill random clear glass containers with snacks, decor, etc and my place setting will always look gorgeous.
So, over time I have collected many clear glass containers and have thrown away nothing. In fact, I love clear glass so much, I am always adding on.
My newest obsession is pedestal pastry trays. I want some so bad. Not sure why, but all of a sudden it' my newest addiction. And, since I must share my addictions, of course I will share the ones I am leaning towards. I think I want a set of 3 in 3 different sizes. I may mix and match from websites, but who knows.
Can't you just see these in the middle of the dining room table filled with cookies, brownies and cream puffs?!?!?! I could die!!! :)
These I love, but can't seem to find where to purchase them anywhere. All the places that show them are sold out. If anyone can find where, please let me know, because these are my number one pick!
Sunday, April 3, 2011
The Shoe is on the Other Foot.
My husband has a really close friend (was the best man at our wedding), Patrick. Patrick comes over many nights to join us for dinner, movies, hanging out etc. Because my hubby and him are both car people there is a tendency for them to get on the topic of cars.
Most of the time it's looking at cars for sale online, looking at forums posted about cars, car additions and other God knows what car thingy-ma-bobbers.
This evening I was folding the laundry and Patrick was telling the hubs how he purchased another shift knob. ANOTHER ONE! How many shift knobs does one person need?
My mind instantly went to shoes. I can buy shoes all day long till I am blue in the face and still want more. The second I thought about shoes I suddenly felt like I understood. Which, of course, made me think of my weekend blog.... shoes.
I love shoes. Ever since I can remember I would love going into my mother's closet and looking at all of her clothes and shoes. Her closet has piles of shoes.... and I would try on every pair. I remember when I was young I was given a pair of black high heels that were so tall and way too big. Of course, when I stumbled upon these shoes later on in life I realized they were an inch high and a size 5 1/2 (the smallest heel size found I'm assuming).
I would dress up all the time in these heels and feel like a princess. And I took this feeling with me as I grew up!
I have acquired a lot of shoes in life... and take great pride in my collection. Many shoes have been worn out and thrown away, some never worn and sold on eBay, some lost, etc... but my collection as of today is something I greatly love looking at every morning as I get ready.
With this, I thought I would share my current shoe collection with you. This collection consists of worn out tennis shoes, ragged flip flops and so on... But enough talking.... lets get to shoes!
Most of the time it's looking at cars for sale online, looking at forums posted about cars, car additions and other God knows what car thingy-ma-bobbers.
This evening I was folding the laundry and Patrick was telling the hubs how he purchased another shift knob. ANOTHER ONE! How many shift knobs does one person need?
My mind instantly went to shoes. I can buy shoes all day long till I am blue in the face and still want more. The second I thought about shoes I suddenly felt like I understood. Which, of course, made me think of my weekend blog.... shoes.
I love shoes. Ever since I can remember I would love going into my mother's closet and looking at all of her clothes and shoes. Her closet has piles of shoes.... and I would try on every pair. I remember when I was young I was given a pair of black high heels that were so tall and way too big. Of course, when I stumbled upon these shoes later on in life I realized they were an inch high and a size 5 1/2 (the smallest heel size found I'm assuming).
I would dress up all the time in these heels and feel like a princess. And I took this feeling with me as I grew up!
I have acquired a lot of shoes in life... and take great pride in my collection. Many shoes have been worn out and thrown away, some never worn and sold on eBay, some lost, etc... but my collection as of today is something I greatly love looking at every morning as I get ready.
With this, I thought I would share my current shoe collection with you. This collection consists of worn out tennis shoes, ragged flip flops and so on... But enough talking.... lets get to shoes!
SHOES!
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